Essay Tutor – Topic 17

1. Expand on the reason: Instead of writing 'should protect', consider writing 'have an ethical responsibility to protect.'

2. Enhance the language: Instead of 'animals', consider writing 'other species'.

3. Lengthen the sentences: Instead of 'like tigers and elephants', consider writing 'much like iconic species such as tigers and elephants.'

4. Add context: Explain why these animals are important, for example 'which hold cultural and symbolic significance.'

1. Split the sentence up: Everything after 'because' can be its own sentence, so you could change 'Lastly, protecting animals helps us because' into 'Lastly, biodiversity provides numerous human benefits.'

2. Clarify what you mean: In the example, it's not clear what the relationship between plants and animals is. A way to fix this could be to say 'Many modern medicines are derived from natural compounds found in diverse ecosystems.'

3. Lengthen the sentences: The sentence does not need to end immediately. You could add 'which highligts the practical advantages of protecting animal species.'

Use descriptive language:
• Use adjectives and adverbs to add depth.
◦ For example, instead of 'stronger laws', write 'strict and detailed laws'.
• Describe the importance and impact of taking action.

Include additional points:
• Add related points to expand on your ideas.
• Connect your ideas to even larger ideas, like famine or climate change.

Use linking words and phrases:
• Use phrases like 'such as,' 'including,' 'in order to,' and 'as a result.'
• Link sentences with words like 'and,' 'but,' 'so,' and 'because.'

Introduce supporting information:
• Mention relevant organizations, initiatives, or laws.
◦ For example, the World Wildlife Fund or the Global Tiger Recovery Program.
• Discuss the benefits and possible outcomes of the proposed actions.